


I Met the Avengers and All I Got Was This Lousy Cyborg

by XxmerthurcatxX



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky needs a hug, Clint makes dad jokes, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm not a doctor so my medical mumbo jumbo is probably not accurate, Love, Nat is a badass, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Sam tries to be a wingman(heehee) and fails, Sex in later chapters, Steve just wants everyone to be happy, Tony has no filter, but is not a dad cause that was a dumb plot twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-21 08:14:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxmerthurcatxX/pseuds/XxmerthurcatxX
Summary: Anna wasn't sure her life was even real. One minute she was working at a flower shop, hiding from her troubled past as an EMT and now she's the medic for the Avengers. It's a lot of pressure taking care of a bunch of superheroes, especially the grumpy soldier with the metal arm and a tragic backstory.





	1. Chapter 1

She’d never get used to the nightmares. Waking up with a start, eyes the size of saucers. Freezing cold and boiling hot at the same time. The hyper awareness of her heart thrumming and the sound of blood rushing in her ears. 

Anna sat up, wincing at the feel of her shirt sticking to her back, slick with sweat. The clock on the bedside table read four thirty in the morning. Too early to start the day, but she knew she wasn’t going to fall asleep again. Not when closing her eyes meant seeing the life leave hers and looking down at her own hands, wet with blood.

She made the decision to suck it up and get out bed, jumping when her phone buzzed. Sighing, she answered it, already knowing who it was. Only one person in the world would call her this early. 

“Hey mom.”

“Another nightmare? I felt it. Still not sleeping,” she said. 

Always right to the point and never a question. 

“Not very well, no,” Anna admitted, rubbing at her eyes. 

“It was Jane again.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her palm to her forehead. 

“Everytime I close my eyes, she’s there.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know,” she said, shaking her head. 

“Do you?”

“I...It’s too early to talk about this. I’m-tired,” she finished lamely. 

“Okay honey. Try to go back to sleep. Do those counting exercises I showed you. They might help.”

“Right. By Mom. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Anna sighed, tossing her cellphone on her bed and making her way to the shower. She took her time, letting the water get so hot it nearly scalded her skin. Her muscles unknotted under the spray. She took a few deep breaths, trying to relax as much as she could. 

The talk with her mother was one they’d had a hundred times. It wasn’t your fault. Jane wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. Talk to Peter. He misses you. 

It never made it any easier and it never made her feel any less at fault. 

She threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, grabbed her keys and left the apartment. Walking was always a good way for her to clear her head. 

She was pretty good at dealing with the pain she’d been through. Therapy had helped and she went through her normal everyday life just fine. But it still hurt. Jane. Her brother’s fiance. She was--

Her thoughts were interrupted as she slammed into something, or rather someone. She must not have been paying close enough attention to her surroundings. 

“Hey buddy watch where you’re-

She stopped when she saw the man had fallen to the ground.

“Uh, I didn’t bump you that hard,” she said, taking a tentative step toward him. 

He was breathing heavily and clutching his side. His hair was long, covering his face. 

“Are you alright?” she asked. 

No answer. 

“Look, it’s who the hell knows o’clock and I have shit to do, so if you need help tell me now or-

“Christ you talk a lot,” he rasped. 

She sighed and moved closer. 

“Don’t! I’m fine. You can go.”

Her EMT training kicked in and she scanned over his body quickly. He was wearing a thick, black leather jacket, making it hard to see. One hand was pressed tight against his stomach, his fingers soaked in blood. 

“I can help,” she said. 

“No thanks.”

She stared at his bloody hand and just like that she was back in that ambulance with Anna on the stretcher. Yelling orders to the other EMTs. Jane’s blood all over her hands. She stared at the man on the ground, swallowing hard. 

“Please. Please let me help.”

He glanced up at her.

Anna’s breath caught in her throat. HIs eyes were bright blue, surrounded by smudged black makeup. They were cold, but wide and curious as they searched her face. 

“Please,” she said again. 

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and sighed. 

“No hospitals,” he gritted out. 

She let out a breath of relief and scooched down to his level. 

“We don’t need a hospital. I’m an EMT. Well, I was. Keep that hand over the wound and put that arm around my shoulders.”

He did, and with great effort she managed to get him to his feet. 

“My apartment is up the street. Think you can make it.”

He grunted, which she took as a yes. 

The walk was slower than she would have liked, but he was heavy and they couldn’t risk making the wound worse. 

“S’flower shop?” he asked. 

“Yeah. I live about it,” she explained, struggling to unlock the door. 

Eventually she got them through the door and up the stairs to her apartment, depositing him on the couch. 

“Is that your only wound?”

“The worst one. Couple of cuts and bruises.”

“Okay. I’ll grab my kit. Try not to move too much.”

She snagged her kit from the bathroom and hurried back. He looked worse in the light. 

“Sit forward if you can so I can get your jacket off.”

“Shouldn’t you buy me dinner before you try to take my clothes off?” he asked. 

Anna laughed, shaking her head. 

“Sense of humor. That’s a good sign.”

He had a vest that definitely looked bulletproof and a long sleeve shirt on under it. 

“Could you be wearing anymore layers?” she grumbled. 

He gave a half hearted shrug and made no move to help her get the rest of his clothes off. She froze. 

His left arm was made completely of metal. It started all the way at his shoulder. The skin around it was scarred and torn. It looked painful. 

“You...you’re the-

“Winter soldier. Yeah,” he grimaced as he shifted his weight, drawing her attention back to his wound.

Anna pushed aside her shock and focused on the task at hand. 

“Can you move your hand?”

He reluctantly slid his hand away. It was a pretty nasty looking gash, but she hoped once some of the blood was cleaned off it would be better. 

“Lean back. This will probably sting.”

“I’ve had worse,” he grumbled. 

“I’m sure. But you still deserve this warning.”

She worked quickly, cleaning the gash and disinfecting it. He barely flinched. 

“You’re gonna need stitches,” she said, sterilizing and threading a needle. 

“Man. This is just not my day.”

“I guess not. Okay, now this is really gonna hurt.”

“I can take it.”

“I believe you. Alright, brace yourself.”

She brought the needle to the wound and pushed to start the first stitch. Despite his tough talk, she noticed he jaw clenched and his hand balled into a fist. 

Tentatively, she place a hand over his. His eyes flew open, searching hers. Undeterred, she brought his hand to rest on her thigh. 

“Again, I said dinner first,” he groused. 

She rolled her eyes. 

“I used to take shifts in the ER on my days off. Good bedside manner is a must. I learned that it’s often comforting for patients to have something to hold when they get stitches okay. Squeeze if you need to.”

“I don’t-

“Shut up,” she said, cutting him off as she continued the stitches. 

They were silent while she worked. Occasionally his hand would twitch against her thigh, but he refrained from squeezing. She tied off the knot and threw away the needle. 

“You should be fine. Just take it easy and check in with someone you know with medical training in a week or so.”

“Will do.”

“Um, can I ask how you ended up injured and alone?”

“Got separated from Nat- Black Widow.”

“You don’t have a cellphone?”

He pulled his phone from his pocket. 

“It’s dead.”

“You can borrow my charger and call someone to come get you if you want.”

He nodded. 

She snagged her charger and plugged it in next to the couch. He plugged in his phone and held it up to his ear. 

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!”

She heard over the phone. 

“Language Steve,” he groaned. 

“DON’T LANGUAGE ME BUCKY! WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!”

“Your name is Bucky?” she asked. 

The winter soldier, “Bucky,” glared at her. 

“Relax. I was injured. I got help. You can come and get me. What’s your address?”

It took her a second to realize the question was directed at her before she rattled off her address. 

Bucky repeated it to Steve, rolled his eyes and hung up his phone. He tried to sit up, reaching for his shirt and groaning before he sunk back into the couch. 

“Let me help.”

She snagged the long sleeve shirt from the coffee table and gently pulled it over his head. He brushed her hands away, grumbling something about being a grown ass man and slid his arms into the sleeves. She handed him the vest next, which seemed a little more difficult for him as his brow furrowed. 

“Do you want some painkillers?” she asked. 

“No. No pain killers.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t like the way they make my head all foggy.”

They fell into awkward silence as they waited for Steve to come pick Bucky up. Despite his dislike of pain killers, she could tell he was hurting. His whole body was tense and his eyes were squeezed shut. If she had to guess, those other “minor injuries” he mentioned were probably aching something fierce. 

She took her time looking at him, now that she wasn’t fixing him up. He was toned, everywhere. His jawline was perfectly sculpted and his lips were plush. He was honestly kind of beautiful. 

“God, this sucks,” he groaned, snapping her from her thoughts. 

“Sure you don’t want those pain killers?”

“I’m sure.”

“Then quit whining.”

He snorted. 

“Thought you were supposed to have a great bedside manner.”

Anna was spared having to respond as her door, quite literally, broke right off it’s hinges to reveal a very pissed off Captain America.

“Heya Stevie,” Bucky said. 

“Don’t Stevie me you jerk. Everyone is worried and here you are just lounging around.”

“It’s not my fault I got separated from Nat.”

“Why didn’t you call earlier?” he demanded. 

“Phone was dead.”

“Well-

“If I could just interject here and not that I’m taking sides, but I found him injured on the sidewalk,” she said, helping Bucky to sit up and getting him to his feet. 

“And who are you?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah actually, what’s your name?” Bucky added. 

“You didn’t even ask her name?”

“I forgot.”

“I’m Anna. I used to be an EMT,” she explained. 

“Oh...is he gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. He had a pretty nasty gash but I stitched him up. He has a few other minor cuts and bruises, but he should be fine in a few days. Just so long as he’s careful of the stitches.”

“Good. Uh, sorry about your door. Steve Rogers,” he said, offering her his hand. 

She shook it, unable to keep a smile off her face. Shaking hands with Captain America. How cool was that?!

“Anna Beckett. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. Thanks for fixing him up.”

“Anytime.”

Steve slid an arm around Bucky to take some of his weight, supporting him as he walked to the door. 

“Oh, right. Here, hold him for a sec.”

Anna stepped forward to hold Bucky up as Steve put her door back in place. 

“I’ll, uh, fix that for you.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she said, eyes flickering to Bucky as Steve took over again. He nodded at her. 

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Make sure you see someone in about a week to check those stitches.”

“I’ll make sure he does. And hey, why don’t you come by the tower for breakfast tomorrow. Or I guess...today. Say around ten? Sam’s a great cook.”

“Uh...sure. Thanks.”

“It’s the least we could do. Right Bucky?”

“Right,” he grumbled as they headed out the door. 

As soon as they were gone she collapsed onto her couch. Holy shit. She sighed, pressing her palms to her eyes. When she opened them again she noticed Bucky’s jacket still sitting on her coffee table. Now she definitely had to go to breakfast.


	2. Chapter 2

Anna stared at the front doors of the Avengers tower, trying not to feel intimidated. After all they invited her here. Hell she had a personal invite from Captain America. Even so, the thought did nothing to quell her nerves. 

"Gonna stand here all day or are you planning on actually entering the building?"

She jumped at the voice, realizing Bucky had appeared and was holding the door open for her. 

"Um, I was just…"

He arched a brow at her as she trailed off, deciding it was better to leave whatever embarrassing babbling was about to come out unsaid and just step through the door. 

"T-thanks. And here," she said, holding out his leather jacket, “you left this at my place.”

He nodded, taking it from her and draping it over his shoulder, stepping into the lift when the doors opened. 

The elevator ride was one of the most awkward experiences of her life. It was just the two of them and Bucky was so tense, pressed into the corner with his arms crossed tight across his chest. She got the feeling he wasn't a fan of closed in spaces. When they reached their floor she let him go first, figuring it was safer to follow him and avoid getting lost. 

The room she stepped into was enormous. There were several couches, a gigantic TV and a bar. She followed Bucky to the kitchen, trying not to gape at the sight that awaited her. 

The table, which was huge by the way, was laid out with quite the spread. Seated around said table were the Avengers themselves, all of them staring right at her. 

"Anna, you made it," Steve greeted cheerfully, getting to his feet and shaking her hand. 

“You knew she was here Stevie or you wouldn’t have sent me to get her,” Bucky grunted, taking his seat at the table.

Steve looked sheepish.

"Thanks for inviting me," Anna said quietly.

"Thanks for fixing up Buck. We were pretty worried about him. Hope you're hungry," he said, steering her to an empty seat...right next to Bucky. 

"Looks delicious."

Heaping plates of things were being passed around the table as introductions were made. She knew them all by reputation but it was a whole other ballgame meeting them all in person and learning their actual names. 

"So…you got a job?" Tony Stark, who of course everyone knew was iron man, asked, handing her a giant bowl of scrambled eggs. 

"Uh, yeah. I run a flower shop," she said, helping herself to some eggs before passing them to Hawkeye, uh, Clint. 

“Steve said you were an EMT.”

“Used to be. Quit six months ago.”

“Why?”

She took longer than necessary to chew the mouthful of waffle she had, trying to come up with a good lie. Steve seemed to note her discomfort.

“What’s with the twenty questions Stark?”

Tony ignored Steve, squeezing a, quite frankly disgusting, amount of ketchup onto his eggs. 

“Any interest in ever taking up medicine again?”

“Um...I guess. If the occasion ever arose.”

“Well, you’re in luck. The occasion has arisen!”

The entire table was now staring at Tony, except for Bucky who seemed not to care, as he was half hunched over his food, shoveling eggs into his mouth.

“Stark, it’s too early for this. Just tell us what you’re thinking so we can get it over with,” Natasha said. 

“I second that,” Sam grumbled. 

“As you may know, the world attracts an awful lot of danger and it’s our job to protect people from it. Which means injuries happen. None of us are too fond of hospitals so we keep a medic on hand. Unfortunately our previous medic, Stan-

“Dan,” Clint corrected. 

“Whatever. He quit, so we, a group of superheroes who get up to all sorts of shenanigans are without an in house doctor. I was about to get Fury on finding us a new one, but since you’ve fallen into our laps, metaphorically, I thought I’d offer it to you. So, what do you say?”

Anna stared at Stark as everyone else's eyes were now on her. 

“I-I don’t know. I mean, I’m not a doctor, I’m a EMT.”

“A scary good one from what I’ve read here,” Tony said, scrolling along on what looked like a very high tech iPad. 

“You’ve read my file.”

“He does that,” Clint said. 

“Generally we don’t need more than patch jobs and few stitches. Concussions. No biggie.”

Anna thought for a moment. Maybe it would be good for her. After all, the odds of her killing a superhuman were a lot lower than when she worked on regular people. 

“I’ll have to find someone to take over my flower shop.”

“Took care of it already. The moving fan with your stuff should be downstairs by now.”

“You-wha-what if I had said no!”

“I don’t offer a job unless I know the person’s gonna take it,” Tony grinned. 

Clint clapped a hand on her shoulder.

“Welcome to the team.”

There were smiles all around the table, even a small one from Natasha who quite honestly Anna found incredibly intimidating. 

“Cyborg, Legolas, Cap, why don’t you start bringing her stuff up. C’mon Peanut, I’ll show you to your room.”

Anna shoved the last bite of waffle into her mouth and got up to follow Tony, who was ignoring the complaints from the men he’d designated as her personal movers. 

Her “room” turned out to be about the size of her previous apartment. The room had huge windows, letting in tons of light and there was a king size bed right in the middle pushed up against the back wall. There was an en suite bathroom with a large shower with glass doors that was calling to her as soon as she saw it. 

“These are your new digs. You like?”

“Like? I love! I mean, holy crap!”

“Being on the team comes with perks,” Tony said, smirking smugly. “They should be up with your stuff in a minute. Once you’re settled come find me and I’ll show you the room with all the doctory stuff.”

As soon as Tony was gone Anna leapt onto the bed, rolling onto her back and giggling. How the hell was this her life? Yesterday she was living above and flower shop and now here she was. The medic for the Avengers. She swallowed the small built of fear creeping into her veins. This was gonna be good for her. Her mother would be proud. She was finally-

“Where do you want these?” a voice grunted from her door. The three men nearly tumbled into the room, arms laden with boxes. 

She was on her feet in an instant, hoping the guys hadn’t seen her acting like a two year old.

“Uh, you can just set them anywhere. I’m just gonna unpack them anyway.”

The men seemed grateful as the plopped the boxes onto the floor and headed out to grab another load. 

She tore open the first box, grinning when she saw her poster of the John Waterhouse painting, La Belle Dame Sans Merci. Anna had bought it when she started her first year of med school. It was always the first thing she put up when she moved to a new place. And the last thing she took down when she left. 

She hung it above her bed, smiling at her work. 

“It’s crooked.”

She jumped, turning to see Bucky standing in her doorway, two more boxes in his arms. 

“O-oh,” she adjusted it, “how about now?”

“Still not right.”

He surprised her, setting down the boxes and moving a few steps closer. 

“Bring the top left corner up a little. There! Perfect.”

She put the tack in place to hold it and stepped off her bed. 

“Thanks. And uh, thanks for bringing my stuff up.”

“What Tony wants, Tony gets. It’s best not to argue,” he said simply, leaving without so much as a goodbye. 

She sighed and shook her head. If she was gonna work here she was gonna have to work on speaking to him without being an awkward duck. Pushing aside all thoughts of the super soldier for now she went to find Tony, surprisingly eager to see her new workspace.


	3. Chapter 3

Anna learned quickly that the avengers were a pretty touchy group. Not "touchy" like they were easily offended, but more like affectionate touches. A reassuring hand on the shoulder, a playful hip bump or a gentle elbow to the side. After a month of being there it just became second nature. 

She was slowly learning their behaviors, both in and out of her medic station. 

Clint was the Dad of the group. His jokes were all puns and more than once had earned him a headlock from Natasha. 

Nat was fairly reserved for the first few weeks, but once she opened up she was a bucket full of sass.

Sam was that one friend that’s just done with everything. He was also by far the best cook, which he liked to remind us all as he shooed us out of the kitchen when we tried to help. 

Steve lived up to his superhero name, that was for sure. An all American slice of apple pie and underneath, she was surprised to find he was actually kind of a little shit. In the best way. 

Tony...what could she even say about Tony. He lived by his own rules? He was a little mad with power? Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist? 

Then there was Bucky, who she still knew the least about. He was fairly quiet, except when he was talking to Steve, and basically communicated in a series of grunts and insults. And of all the avengers, he was most definitely the biggest mystery. 

Anna had watched Bucky and despite his cold exterior he still joked and bumped Steve with his hip if he was in the way. She hadn’t thought much of it when she’d walked into the kitchen and Bucky was drinking straight from the carton of orange juice, with his mechanical hand holding open the door of the fridge. 

She needed to snag the milk so she’d placed a gentle hand on the small of Bucky’s back, just so he knew she was there and didn’t take a step back and accidentally knock her over. The minute her hand touched him, he flinched so hard he somehow managed to spill orange juice all over the front of his shirt and in Anna’s hair. 

Sam and Clint, the only other two in the vicinity, had laughed so hard Anna thought they might pass out. 

Bucky had stared down at his soiled shirt and when his eyes found hers they were wide and annoyed. 

“Uh, s-sorry. I-I’ll just-  
She made a hasty retreat back to her room before he could say anything or she could embarrass herself any further. 

That was two weeks ago and she’d been careful not to touch him since. Well, unless she was patching him up after a particularly difficult mission, but even that was rare. 

“Ouch! Stings,” Clint hissed as she dabbed at the cut above his eyebrow with a cotton swab dipped in alcohol. 

“It’s just cut, shouldn’t need stitches. You’ll live,” she said, placing a piece of gauze over the cut and sticking it down with medical tape. 

“Is it my turn yet?” Steve groused, holding onto his still bleeding arm. 

“You’re all set Clint. C’mon ya big baby, hop up,” she said, patting the examination table. She glanced at his wound. “Now you my friend, need stitches.”

“What? No! I hate needles,” he freaked, trying to pull his arm out of her grasp. 

“You fight things way more dangerous than one little needle all the time!”

“Fiiiiiiiine,” Steve sighed and leaned back as she sterilized the needle. 

They were silent while she worked until her curiosity got the better of her. 

“So what’s Bucky’s deal?” she asked. 

Steve frowned. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’ve been here a month and I can count on one hand the number of actual conversations we’ve had.”

Steve smiled and shook his head. 

“Yep, that’s Buck for ya. He’s...he’s had a rough time. How much do you know?”

“Not much. He was frozen like you. Lost an arm, hence the metal one. Something about being used as a hit man for Hydra?”

Steve nodded, grimacing as she tugged a needle a little harder as she tied off the knot and snipped the excess off. 

“That’s pretty much the gist, but it was worse than that. They basically put his brain in a blender. It took so much therapy to bring him back from it. He wanted to go back under the ice, but I pushed him to find a better way. A buddy of mine, T’challa was a big help, finding the best specialists out there. He’s fine now. I mean, not fine, but the trigger words they put in his head are gone now. He’s still a little standoffish and hard to get close to.”

“ I noticed,” she said quietly. 

Steve smiled, giving her arm a squeeze. 

“Don’t feel bad. Took him a while to warm up to most of the team. Even me and we grew up together,” he said, a look of sadness washing over her face for a moment. He shook his head, getting to his feet. 

“He’ll come around. I promise.”

Anna watched him leave before pulling off her gloves and cleaning up her work station. It wasn’t that she wanted to be best friends with Bucky and like, have slumber parties and braid each other’s hair or anything. She wanted to get to know him. She wanted him to be comfortable around her. And okay maybe it was because the past month she’d sort of developed a small crush on him, but nobody needed to know that. 

She slipped out of her lab coat and draped it over the examination table and straightened up her scrubs before heading to the kitchen. It was way past dinner time, eleven o’clock, and she was starving, almost squealing with delight when she found the leftover spaghetti from the night before. She tossed the whole container into the microwave and leaned against the counter as she waited, pulling her dark brown hair from the high ponytail she’d had in and letting her curls fall down over her chest. She examined the ends carefully. Hmm, it was getting long. Maybe time for a haircut. 

“What smells good?”

Anna applauded herself for not jumping at the sound of the voice of a certain grumpy super soldier. 

“Uh, leftover spaghetti,” she said as the microwave dinged. “Do you want some, there’s plenty?” she offered. Food. Food was a good way to start. 

He nodded, taking a seat on one of the bar stools at the counter. She divided up the pasta between two bowls and slid one over to Bucky before taking a seat across from him on the other side. Bucky said nothing as he twirled pasta around his fork.

“How was your day?” she asked, mentally slapping herself in the face as soon as she said it. 

Bucky looked up from his bowl, arching a brow at her. 

“Same shit different day,” he said. 

Anna nodded even though he wasn’t looking at her anymore and decided maybe they better just eat in silence. It was safer that way. 

“Yours?”

It took a second to realize that Bucky had just asked her how her day was. In his own Bucky way. 

“Fine. Didn’t do much. Just hung around and waited to see who came back injured.”

“Everyone okay?”

“Yeah. Clint had a scratch and Steve needed stitches. Nothing major.”

“Good.”

They fell back into silence after that, but it wasn’t awkward this time. Anna felt surprisingly comfortable as she finished her bowl. Wordlessly Bucky got up, taking his bowl and hers and bringing them to the sink. Anna watched in surprise as he actually washed them and put them on the towel to dry. Seeing him perform such a domestic task made her heart pang. 

He nodded his head at her before disappearing down the hall, presumably to turn in for the night. Anna did the same, glancing at Bucky’s door, which was right across from hers, before entering her own room and heading straight for the shower. 

As she’d expected her very first day in the tower, the shower was beyond perfect. Perfect water pressure. Perfect size. 

That night as she climbed into bed she was so relaxed she figured she may actually get some real sleep. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was 4:30 in the morning when Anna’s eyes flew open at the sound of screaming. Why was it always 4:30? For a moment she assumed she had been dreaming but then she heard it again and there was no question where it was coming from. Bucky’s room. 

She was on her feet before she could think, running across the hall and pushing on Bucky’s door, which was mercifully unlocked. The man in question was writhing against the bed, hands fisted in the sheets. He was drenched in sweat. 

Anna crept forward, hesitating for only a moment before she touched his shoulder. 

“Bucky?”

Nothing. He continued to shiver mouth opening in another scream. 

“Bucky?! Wake up! Wake up!”

Before she knew what was happening she was flat on her back on the bed with Bucky’s arm pressing against her collarbone as he all but snarled at her. 

“B-bucky. It’s me. It’s Anna. Bucky?” her voice shook as she struggled to breathe against his hold. 

He blinked, coming back to himself as his vision cleared. 

“Anna,” he said and she didn’t miss the tremor in his voice. 

It was the first time he’d said her name and God she wished it was under better circumstances. He seemed to realize his arm was half crushing her and he pulled back, flopping down next to her and scrubbing a hand down his face. 

“Nightmare?” she asked. 

He let out a huff.

“Yeah. Yeah you could call it that. Usually I wake up on my own. Everyone else is used to it.”

“Do, um, do you wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head.

“M’fine now. Y-you can go,” he said. 

Anna wasn’t sure she could move, but she tried her best getting into a sitting position. She glanced at Bucky who was still shaking hard. 

“I...Do you want me to stay?” she asked. 

His eyes were on hers in an instant, glaring. He didn’t want to be taken care of, that much she could guess, but she swallowed hard and steeled her resolve. 

“I’m not trying to coddle you. And I won’t touch you. I’ll stay on this side. I just...I thought you might…”

She trailed off, unsure if she should or even could finish that sentence. 

“Stay.”

It was quiet. So quiet she almost didn’t hear it, but she nodded, laying back against the pillow, careful to keep a safe amount of distance between the two of them. 

Bucky curled up on his side, his back facing her and she did the same, surprised at how tired she felt. For once, sleep came easily.   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky was gone when she woke up later in the morning, which honestly she expected. As she sat up she frowned, examining the blanket draped over her she definitely hadn’t been under when she’d fallen asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

They don’t talk about it. 

If there was one thing Anna had learned since being with the Avengers, it was that no one liked to talk about their feelings. Ever. So when she saw Bucky the next morning at breakfast and he nodded at her as he took a swig of orange juice, ignoring Steve scolding him for drinking off the carton, she figured that was the most she was going to get. Which was fine. Honestly it would be an awkward conversation if they did talk about it. 

“Big plans today Peanut?” Tony asked. 

“Not really. Thought I might go check out the bookshop near my old apartment.”

“Is that what you’re gonna wear?”

She looked down at her blue-green hospital scrubs and pink converse.

“What’s wrong with my scrubs?” she asked, arching a brow. 

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I’m just starting to wonder if you own any other clothes,” he teased. 

Anna glared at him. 

“I happen to like my scrubs thank you very much. They provide easy movement for when I’m patching up your ass.”

There were snickers all around as Tony rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t get your scrubs in a knot Peanut. It was a joke,” he said, elbowing her. 

She elbowed him back, giggling, before turning to pour herself a cup of coffee. She nearly walked straight into Bucky’s metal arm as it was extended toward her, coffee in hand, offering it to her. 

“Uh, thanks,” she said, accepting the cup. 

“You’re welcome.”

Anna took a tentative sip of coffee. Two creams and two sugars. He knew how she took her coffee. That made her heart do an embarrassing little flutter as she took her place at the table. 

“So no real plans?” Nat asked. 

She shook her head as she swallowed a mouth full of coffee. 

“Sam and I were gonna get lunch around one. Wanna join?”

Anna blinked in surprise. Despite being there for a little over a month, she had yet to have any outside the tower interactions with them. She tried to hide her giddiness. 

“Yeah. I’d love to.”

“Good. And I don’t care if you wear the scrubs,” she said, offering a small smile. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anna decided to ditch the scrubs in favor of a pair of overalls and a grey crop top. As usual her trusty pink converse were in her feet. 

Sam had picked the restaurant, which turned out to be a cool little diner that supposedly served the best burgers in the world. 

“So,” Nat started as the waitress brought over a round of beers, “what’s the deal with you and Bucky?”

Anna almost choked on her beer, sputtering a little as she set it back on the table. 

“I-I don’t...what do you mean?”

“Save it girl. I saw you coming out of his room this morning,” Sam said. 

Anna sighed. 

“Nothing is going on. He was having a nightmare and I heard him scream so I went in to check on him. After I woke him up he asked me to stay and-

“He asked you to stay?” Nat asked, eyes widening. Sam was wearing a similar expression. 

“Well, I offered to and he said yes, so…”

“Whoa...shit,” Sam said, letting out a breath. 

“It was a one time thing. I just, didn’t want him to be alone and-

“And you have the hots for him,” Nat finished. 

Anna blushed. 

 

“I do not!”

“Oh honey, yes you do,” Sam said, taking a long swig of his beer. 

“It’s not like it matters. He doesn’t feel the same way and I’m not gonna let my feelings get in the way of my job.”

Nat surprised her by placing a reassuring hand over hers. 

“I wouldn’t give up so easily. Bucky’s been through a lot and he’s not at ease around most people. At the very least he feels comfortable with you.”

Anna smiled, thankful for the encouragement. Nat was right. If nothing else, she and Bucky were on their way to becoming friends and that was more than she thought she’d get. 

The rest of the lunch was a blast. Sam complained about having to cook all the time and Nat reminded him he volunteered and when anyone tries to help he sends them away. Nat told her about the time she’d hidden Tony’s fancy ass iPad because he was being annoying. 

By the time they got back the tower it was almost dinner time and of course Tony was suited up and ready to go and being annoyingly cryptic about where they were needed. 

“Tony for the love of God, just tell us what’s up?!”

“Fury needs us to patrol. Said something weird was messing with a bunch of shield equipment. So, Widow, Hawkeye, you take midtown. Cap take Brooklyn, and Falcon and I will take the sky.”

“What about me?” Bucky asked, leaning against the wall. 

“Well you stay here and make sure nothing happens to the good doctor here,” he said, gesturing to Anna. 

“I’m fine, really you can-

“I’ll stay,” Bucky said seriously. 

“Alright then, everybody suit up!” Steve called as they all took off. 

Anna would never get used to how fast paced all this was. One minute they’d all been crowded around the kitchen and the next it was just her and Bucky. 

 

“I hear Nat's been teaching you hand to hand,” Bucky said suddenly. 

“Yeah. She likes to wake me up ridiculously early to train,” Anna said grumpily. 

Bucky’s lips quirked into an almost smile before going back to his usual frown. 

“Show me.”

“W-what?”

“Someone comes at you head on, ready with a punch. What do you do?”

In a flash Bucky was right in front of her, fist pulled back about to strike. She noted he was using his real hand and she sidestepped it easily, catching it and twisting it behind his back. 

“Good,” he said, clearly impressed, “and if I do this?”

He pulled out of her grip easily, whirling around to face her. She ducked under his arm, though just barely, locking her arms around his waist and pushing him backwards. 

“Geez, what did Nat do? Skip right over the basics and start straight in on her best moves,” he groaned. 

“Oh sorry! Did I hurt you?”

Bucky gave her a look that clearly said, “as if.”

“And if someone does this,” he lunged for her again, catching her off guard enough for her to stumble and little as she caught his fist again, sending her flat on her back with Bucky sprawled out on top of her. 

She couldn’t help it, she busted up laughing as Bucky pushed himself up enough to look at her face, practically grinning at her as he laughed too. 

“Guess you weren’t quite ready,” he said, between laughs. 

Anna shook her head, smiling. 

“Guess not.”

Their laughter stopped abruptly when they both seemed to realize the position they were in. Bucky’s knees were bracketing her hips, his hands on either side of her head. Her hands must have gripped his arms as they had fallen and were still there. Bucky blinked down at her with hooded eyes and or a moment she thought he might kiss her...but then he was getting to his feet, pulling her up with him. 

They don’t talk about this either. Not when they’re sitting on the couch watching a movie. Not when Bucky is ordering pizza. Not when the rest of the team comes back, having found nothing. 

Anna climbed into bed that night, her mind buzzing with thoughts of the soldier and when she was awakened at two in the morning by his screams once again she remembered what he had said last time. He usually woke up on his own. So she waited, praying he would just wake up. 

A few minutes passed without a scream and she guess he must be awake by now. The thought comforted her as she turned over on her side. She jumped at the sound of her door opening. 

Bucky stood there, looking bedraggled even in the dark. Without a work she moved over, holding up the covers for him. His shoulders sagged with relief as he joined her, careful to stay all the way over on his side. 

She waited until she heard his breathing even out before slipping out of bed and heading to the kitchen. She’d learned ages ago that a good cure for her insomnia was to bake. The kitchen of Avengers tower put her tiny apartment kitchen to shame, with a double oven, allowing for multiple batches at a time. 

She pulled out ingredients for a recipe she knew by heart and got to work, pouring the dry ingredients into a bowl and mixing soundly. 

“Anna?”

She turned to see Bucky leaning against the door. 

“Sorry. Did I wake you?”

He shook his head. 

She took in his appearance. He was wearing loose fitting grey pajama pants that hung low on his hips and no shirt. What really caught her attention were his bare feet. There was something so, normal about him padding around barefoot. She wasn’t sure why it made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She didn’t have a foot thing, that wasn’t it. It was the sense of normalcy and domesticity. 

“I’m...I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said, looking down at the floor. 

“Hmm? You didn’t. I’m an insomniac and, uh, baking helps,” she said. 

“Oh…” he trailed off, staring at the mixing bowl. 

“You wanna help?” she asked, smiling. 

Bucky hesitated for a moment before joining her at the counter. 

“What are you making?”

“Better than sex brownies,” she said without thinking, blushing when she realized what she’d said. Bucky looked amused. 

“Better than sex huh?”

“Well...I mean I guess it depends on the...anyway! The mother of a friend of mine growing up used to make them. They have a layer of mint and a chocolate ganache on top. Taste kind of like a peppermint patty,” she said hurriedly, trying to move the conversation away, very very far away, from sex. Because if she thought too much about Bucky and sex right now it was going to be embarrassing. 

They worked in mostly silence with Anna giving instruction here or there. Bucky was surprisingly good at it and she was a little salty his pan was prettier than hers when it came out of the oven. 

She watched Bucky as he drizzled the ganache over the top of the brownies. He turned to look at her. 

“What?”

She grinned, booping him on the nose with her spoon and effectively smearing it with chocolate. The look on his face was priceless and she erupted into a fit of giggles, yelping when he returned the favor, smearing chocolate on her cheek. Bucky caught her wrist before she could retaliate. 

“You’ve lost your spoon privileges,” he told her as he quickly finished frosting both pans of brownies. 

She rolled her eyes, grabbing a knife and cutting two brownies, handing one to Bucky.

“Cheers,” she said, bonking her brownie against his. 

He shook his head at her, taking a bite of the brownie and groaning at the taste. She smirked. 

“Well?”

“Delicious. Not better than sex, at least from what I remember. But delicious.”

Anna scoffed.

They finished their brownies in silence and Bucky wet a cloth to wipe the chocolate off his face as soon as he was done. Anna flinched back when he moved to clean her face off too, but settled against the counter and let him finish. 

She wrapped the brownies in foil and stuck them in the fridge for the next day when she was sure the rest of the team would demolish them. 

“We should try to sleep,” she said. 

Bucky nodded, following her down the hall. She wasn’t really surprised when he entered the room after her and took his spot next to her on the bed. 

She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.


	5. Chapter 5

Anna was just getting into the book she was reading when her phone buzzed loudly on the coffee table. She sighed, knowing already who it was. 

“Hi Mom.”

“When were you going to tell me you sold the flower shop?!”

Anna held the phone back from her ear, wincing. 

“What not even a hello?”

“Don’t you sass me young lady! And where the hell are you? Your landlord says you moved out almost three months ago!”

“Jesus Mom, I’m not telling you anything until you stop yelling!”

She heard her mother take a few deep breaths and took that as her cue to continue. 

“I took another job. I-I’m…” she paused. Stark had told her when she took the job it wasn’t a good idea to tell anyone she was their doctor. “I’m a live in doctor for...an eccentric billionaire,” she said, which wasn’t technically a lie. 

“A live in doctor?”

“Yes.”

“So...you’re practicing again?”

Anna sighed. 

“Yes Mom. It’s no big deal. He has a lot of people employed at his estate and sometimes they get injured. That’s what I’m here for.”

“Oh. Well you should have told me! Would it have been so hard to drop that into our conversations. I call you every week Anna and-”

“I know! I’m sorry. I know. I should have told you. I was just adjusting to everything,” she explained. 

“Okay. I understand. I talked to Peter yesterday.”

Ah, here we go. 

“He really misses you sweetie. And you know he doesn’t blame you for what happened with Jane.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Call him. Pllease. For both your sakes.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Alright sweetie. I’ll let you go. Lunch next week?”

“Sure Mom. Lunch would be great.”

“Okay. Love you hon.”

“I love you too.”

Anna hung up the phone and tossed it back onto the table, groaning and leaning her head back against the couch. 

“Everything okay, Peanut?” Tony asked, plunking down next to her on the couch. 

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s just my Mom. I forgot to tell her about the new job and she was worried.”

“You didn’t tell her did you?”

“No! No, I told her I work for an eccentric billionaire,” she said, grinning. 

“Pfft. Would we call me eccentric?”

Anna gave him a look. 

“Genius. Billionare. Playboy. Philanthropist.”

“Touche,” Tony said, putting his arm around her. 

She leaned against his shoulder. Tony had surprisingly become a good friend to her. He always seemed to look out for her and make sure she was okay, which she appreciated. 

“It’ll all work out,” Tony said, seemingly sensing she was a little off after her talk with her mother, as he pressed a kiss to her forehead before getting to his feet and calling the rest of the team. 

“Fury called an emergency meeting, so suit up, we gotta go!”

“All of us?” Bucky asked, eyes flickering to Anna.

“Oh, right. Think you’ll be okay by yourself, Peanut?”

“I mean, is there any actual imminent danger,” she asked. 

“Nah, Fury just called the meeting as a precaution.”

“Then I think I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Great. We shouldn’t be gone long.”

Anna nodded, watching them all run off to get ready to leave. All but Bucky who was still looking at her...and when had he gotten so close. 

“I...um…” he reached out and gently tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, “be safe,” he said simply, and then he was disappearing after the others, leaving Anna blushing in the middle of the living room. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With the team gone Anna took the opportunity to slip into her scrubs and reorganize her medical supplies. Afterall, even if it was just a meeting, someone could still come back injured. Danger never sleeps, Steve had told her once. She huffed out a laugh and shook her head as she got to work. 

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Anna froze. She didn’t recognize that voice. She turned slowly to see two men she didn’t know leaning against the door. 

“W-what do you want?” she asked. 

The taller of the two grinned at her. 

“Lookin for someone. Maybe you’ve heard of him. They call him the winter soldier.”

Anna swallowed hard. 

“Don’t know him. Sorry.”

“Nice try sweetheart. We know he’s here,” the other man practically snarled. 

Anna glanced at the door. If she could just get past them she could turn. Sensing her plan, the tall man shook his head, stepping forward and landing a hard punch to her gut. She doubled over in pain.

“Don’t even think about it. There’s more of us outside. We’re just gonna wait right here, until he comes back. Deal?”

Anna lunged forward, catching the man off guard and kneeing him hard in the crotch. 

“Son of a bitch!” he cursed. 

She ran past him, ready to give the other man the same punishment, but he caught a fistful of her hair and yanked her backwards. She struggled against his hold, screaming for help when she saw the other guy pulling his fist back. Then everything went black. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Anna came to she was tied to a chair in the middle of the kitchen, a think piece of cloth tied around her mouth. The two goons were on either side of her, guns pointed directly at her head. She tried to stay calm, praying for a way out of this to come to mind and then the door was flying open to reveal Steve and Bucky. 

“A-Anna,” Bucky stuttered, eyes filling with an anger she’d never seen before as he turned his attention to the men holding her captive. 

“The Winter Soldier in the flesh,” one of them said. 

“What do you want,” Bucky snarled, hand already on the gun at his hip. 

“Easy Buck,” Steve said calmly. 

“You’re coming with us,” he said, rattling off a series of random words in Russian. 

Bucky glared. 

“Guess you haven’t heard. Hydra doesn’t have a home in my head anymore. That shits gone.”

The man rolled his eyes. 

“Fine. We’ll do this the hard way,” he cocked his gun, pressing it to Anna’s head. 

She didn’t even flinch, eyes trained on Bucky. 

“Come with us. Or we shoot.”

Anna watched them calculating, trying to figure out if they could take them out before they shot her. Bucky’s eyes landed on her for a moment before he and Steve shared a look. 

“Duck!” Bucky shouted and Anna didn’t need to ask if that was directed at her. Without thinking she threw her weight backward, making the chair topple over. 

Several gunshots rang out and she squeezed her eyes shut when she felt blood splatter against her neck, only opening then when she heard the unmistakable sound of two bodies hitting the floor. 

Bucky was at her side in an instant removing the gag and untying her hands. She flew backwards away from him, curling up into a ball against the kitchen counter. She had her arms locked around her knees, refusing to look anywhere but at the floor.

“I-I think she’s in shock,” Steve said. 

The rest of the Avengers ran in, assessing the room before their eyes fell on Anna. 

“Is she…”Clint trailed off. 

“In shock,” Nat said. 

“I got it.”

All eyes were on Bucky when he spoke. 

“Buck, maybe we should-

Nat placed a hand on Steve’s arm. 

“Steve...he’s got it.”

With a final look at the girl shaking on the floor, the rest of the team disbanded, leaving her and Bucky alone. 

Bucky crouched in front of her. 

“Anna.”

Nothing. 

“Anna can you look at me.”

Nothing. 

“Anna, I know you’re scared, but I need you to look at me.”

He waited a moment as she very slowly brought her eyes to his. 

“Good. Do you know who I am?” he asked. 

She nodded. 

“Can you say my name?”

“B...B-Bucky,” she managed. 

“Good. That’s good. You’re doing great. Can I touch you?”

She looked uncertain, but offered the smallest nod of her head. 

Bucky took her hand, covering it with her own and placing it on his chest. 

“I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that?”

She didn’t answer. Not even with a nod. But he watched as he chest began to rise and fall, slower than it had been as she matched his breathing. 

“You’re doing so good. You’re okay. You’re safe. Okay? You’re safe.”

And just like that the floodgates had opened. The tears that had been threatening to fall were now streaming down her cheeks as she flung herself forward and locked her arms around Bucky’s neck. He caught her easily and pulled her to him. 

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. 

She didn’t know how long they sat there, Bucky holding her while she cried. He was keeping her grounded with soft words and strong hands at her back. When she finally stopped crying he pulled away just a fraction. 

“We have to get you cleaned up okay?”

“O-okay,” she managed. 

Bucky scooped her gently into his arms, tucking her into his chest as he carried her down the hall to her bedroom.

He brought her all the way to the bathroom, sitting her on the sink while he turned on the shower. When he was satisfied with the temperature he was back in front of her again. 

“I’m gonna undress you, okay?”

She nodded, not trusting her voice. 

There was nothing sexual about him taking off her clothes. He peeled off each article slowly, setting her bloodstained scrubs in a pile on the floor. He left her bra and underwear on which she was thankful for as he lifted her and placed her gingerly on the floor, under the spray of the water. 

She watched as he stripped out of his own shirt and vest, and kicked off his shoes and socks, leaving his pants on as he climbed in after her, sitting behind her, and gently pulling her to lean against him. The hot water combined with Bucky’s warmth was enough to make her stop shivering. 

Bucky started with her hair, working his fingers through it slowly. She watched the water until it no longer ran red, sighing as he poured soap onto his hands and washed her clean of all of the blood. She flinched when he got to her stomach. He paused. 

“They hurt you,” he said.

She nodded, leaning her head back against his shoulder.

“M’okay. It’s just sore.”

Bucky nodded, finishing up washing her before reaching above his head and turning off the water. 

He wrapped her in a big fluffy towel, draping another around his shoulders and ushering her out of the bathroom. She sat her down on the end of her bed and rummaged in her drawers, coming out with a clean pair of pajamas and handing them to her. 

“I’m just going across the hall to change. Will you be okay?” he asked. 

She smiled fondly at him. 

“I’m okay now Bucky, really, you don’t have to-

“I want to,” he said seriously, hurrying out of the room. 

She changed quickly, going to look in the mirror above her dresser. She examined the large bruise on the side on her face, hissing when she accidentally touched it too hard. 

“Can I see?”

She jumped when Bucky came back, wearing a fitted white t-shirt and his usual pair of grey pajama pants. She nodded. Bucky examined her face carefully, his hand resting on the side of her face. His thumb brushed gently over her cheek.

“You’re gonna have quite the shiner, slugger,” he said quietly, frowning. “I...I’m sorry I wasn’t here to...I could have-

“Hey. Don’t. Don’t do that to yourself. It wasn’t your fault,” she said. 

Bucky shook his head, avoiding her eyes. 

“They were here for me.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she said again, gripping the front of Bucky’s shirt and resting her head on his chest. 

Bucky wrapped his arms around her and walked her backwards, lifting her off her feet and laying her in bed. 

“Bucky, it’s not even nighttime,” she said. 

He climbed in next to her, laying on his back and looking up at the ceiling. They lay there in silence for who knows how long before Anna finally broke it. 

“Can...Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah. Anything.”

“I haven’t, um, I haven’t told anyone here why I quit being an EMT.”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“I know, but I want to.”

Bucky waited patiently, not saying anything as Anna collected herself.  
“It was past midnight when we got the call. Female. Early thirties. Hit by a drunk driver while biking home. Critical condition. We, um, we loaded into the ambulance and got there pretty quickly and when I saw her...It was Jane. M-my brother’s fiance,” her voice started to tremble and she swallowed hard, trying to keep down the tears. 

“I-I tried. I stopped the bleeding in her stomach but an artery much have been hit because there was s-so much blood. And she was conscious. She kept saying please. Please, Anna, please. But I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t save her.”

She was crying now, tears dripping down her cheeks and sliding all the way down her neck. 

“That was almost a year ago and I haven’t spoken to my brother since. And there’s a part of me that’s still scared every time someone gets hurt. That I won’t be able to help them. No matter how small the injury. ”

The only sound in the room were the soft hiccuping noises escaping her throat. Bucky’s arms were around her now, pulling her close to lay on his chest as he rubbed soothing circles on her back. 

“After Hydra put my brain in a blender, I didn’t think I’d ever be okay again. It took months of rehabilitation and therapy. I wanted to go back under the ice, but Steve wouldn’t let me. He pushed me to get better and when I wanted to give up, he was there, making me do my memory exercises,” Bucky told her. 

“But sometimes, when we’re out on missions, I get scared. Scared that the trigger words in my brain could still make me hurt people, even though I know they can’t.”

Anna traced slow easy patterns on Bucky’s chest. He was holding her so close. This was the most intimate they had been. Just laying together, sharing tragic backstories. It wasn’t long before Bucky’s breathing had evened out and Anna realized he was asleep. She glanced at the clock. It was only five o’clock. 

She snuggled closer, letting her eyes slip shut. Maybe a nap before dinner was what they both needed. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When she wakes up later Bucky isn’t there anymore. She finds him in the kitchen, drinking off the carton of orange juice. 

They don’t talk about it...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I meant to post this yesterday but it ended up being waaay longer than intended. There's one more chapter after this one. Hope you like it!

Anna wasn’t sure what to expect when she went to meet her mother for lunch, but it sure as hell wasn’t to see her brother sitting at the table instead. She should have known. Her mother had been overly enthusiastic on the phone when she’d call to discuss the time. Peter hadn’t seen her yet, which meant she could back out the door and be done with it, but she knew if she did she’d regret it. It was time. She approached his table cautiously. 

“Mind if I join you?” she asked. 

Peter’s head jolted up, eyes widening in surprise. 

“You’re not Mom,” he said. 

Anna huffed a laugh. Of course Mom hadn’t told him either. Well played mother. Well played. 

“Neither are you.”

She sat down, twiddling her thumbs and ordering a coffee when the waitress came. Peter looked as nervous as she felt and she could only hope she was hiding it better. 

“I don’t blame you!” he blurted suddenly. 

“I know,” Anna said quietly. 

“If you know then why have you avoided me for so long?”

Anna sighed. 

“I needed time and I figured you did too. Therapy helped. And I...I met someone. And he’s been there for me in ways he doesn’t even know and it’s helped me to move on.”

“I...It’s been hard without you Anna.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. But I am now.”

Peter gave her a watery smiled and reached forward to squeeze her hand. Anna jumped at something loud outside, turning just in time to see someone on a motorcycle speeding away, which must have been the source. 

They spent the afternoon catching up. Peter told her how hard it had been after Jane’s funeral. How Mom had moved in for a while to help him out and how he had to nicely kick her out when she started to be too overbearing. Anna told him about her job. In vague terms as not to give too much away, but enough that they could actually talk about it. 

“So, I think I’ve waited a suitable amount of time to ask about this guy you’re seeing.”

Anna blushed. 

“We’re not seeing each other.”

“But you want to be with him right? I mean, that’s what it sounds like.”

“I do. But he’s been through a lot too and I don’t want to push him into anything he’s not ready for,” she said honestly. 

“Sounds a little like a cop out there baby sis.”

“What? It’s a legitimate concern!”

Peter held up his hands defensively. 

“I get that. But I think you’re just too chicken to tell him.”

Anna glared at him, crossing her arms. 

“Look, I’m just saying, that as your older brother, I’ve seen how you usually are around guys. You meet a guy you like and then you wait too long to make a move because you’re too scared they’ll turn you down and you miss your window of opportunity.”

“I just-

“It’s scary to put yourself out there. But is he worth it?” Peter asked. 

“Yeah. He’s more than worth it.”

Peter nodded and let the subject drop. 

When they said goodbye it was with the promise to meet up again in the next few weeks. Peter had thrown in a snarky comment about her better having made a move on her man by that time. She’d punched his arm good naturedly, waving before she climbed into a cab. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was an extra spring in her step as she entered the tower, but it was gone as soon as she opened the door. 

“Oh thank God! It’s Nat,” Sam said, grabbing Anna’s arm and all but dragging her down the hall to her med station. She stared in horror at the examination table. 

Nat was laying there, breathing hard and bleeding from her stomach and shoulder. Tony was practically shouting into his phone for Fury’s personal medical team to get there asses over there. Steve and Bucky were pacing and Clint was gripping her hand, eyes widening when he saw Anna. 

“Anna! Help her!” he cried. 

Anna stared at Nat, and practically bolted from the room, leaning agains the wall in the hallway and taking a few deep breaths. Bucky was there in an instant. 

“What are you doing?! She needs you!”

“I can’t! I c-can’t. Please don’t make me. I’m not equipped for that kind of injury and I--

Bucky grabbed a hold of her shoulders.

“The medics are on their way, but we need you to keep her stable. You can do it Anna. She’s not Jane. You’re strong and amazing and you can do this,” he said seriously, eyes never leaving her. 

Anna took a shuddering breath, nodding slowly and allowing Bucky to escort her back to the room. 

“Clint, keep her conscious. Stroke her hair and keep her focused on you,” she ordered. 

Clint did as he was told. 

“C’mon Nat. It ain’t so bad,” he murmured. 

“Really? When was the last time you were shot,” she managed, gritting her teeth. 

“I’m trying to keep you calm,” he said. 

“Well do it without being an idiot.”

“Well clearly her mouth is working fine,” Clint grouched. 

“Steve I need you to put pressure over the wound on her stomach. Not too hard though, yes that’s right,” Anna instructed.  
She moved around her room quickly, starting an IV. Clint was doing a great job keeping her distracted as he just stood there and let her insult him, not saying anything back. 

“Okay, Steve move your hands. The bleeding should have subsided enough for me to get the bullet out. Move to her shoulder.”

The room was silent except for the sound of Nat’s complaining as Anna worked, extracting the bullet and stuffing heaps of gauze over the wound. A minute late Fury’s medics took over, pushing her out of the way as they lifted Nat onto a gurney and wheeled her out, with Clint right behind them. 

“Ya did good Peanut,” Tony said, clapping a hand on her shoulder and kissing her cheek as he left. 

Steve and Sam both thanked her before following Tony. 

Bucky was leaning against the wall and Anna notice he was favoring his right shoulder. 

“You’re hurt,” she said. 

“It’s nothing.”

“Let me decide if it’s nothing. Sit down,” she directed. 

Bucky did as he was told, wincing as she prodded at his shoulder. 

“It’s dislocated. I can fix it. On three okay?”

“Yep.”

“One-

She yanked hard, snapping the shoulder back into place with a nasty pop. Bucky cried out, grabbing his shoulder. 

“What happened to two and three?!” he demanded. 

“Hurts less if you don’t see it coming.”

“No it doesn’t!”

Anna rolled her eyes, letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and finally feeling herself begin to relax. When she looked up Bucky was glaring at her. 

“What? Don’t be mad about your shoulder. I fixed it didn’t I?”

Bucky shook his head. 

“Whatever,” he said, avoiding her eyes. 

Sensing something else was wrong she moved a little closer, hoping it might make him meet her eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“Nothing.”

“Well clearly you’re pissed at me about something. What did I do?”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend you should be getting back to?” he snapped. 

Anna blinked at him. 

“A boyfriend? What are you talking about?”

Bucky huffed. 

“Look, I thought you and me were- ” he stopped short, getting to his feet and making for the door.

Anna’s eyes widened. 

“Thought we were what?” She asked quietly.

Bucky stopped and reluctantly turned to face her. He crossed his arms and a blush beginning to creep up his neck. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he grunted. 

Anna took a step forward, placing a careful hand on his shoulder. He hissed, pulling away immediately. She was hurt for a moment before she remembered it was the shoulder she had just popped back into place and it was probably still tender. 

“I-It does matter. Come on. Talk to me.”

“What didn’t get enough talk when you were at lunch with who the fuck knows?” he grumbled. 

“Having lunch…” she trailed off. Then it dawned on her. The motorcycle she’d seen. “Bucky do you drive a motorcycle?”

“Yeah. So?”

Anna couldn’t help it. She busted up laughing. 

“Oh my god, I thought that bike looked familiar. That was my brother you saw me with, you jerk!”

Bucky’s eyes widened and the blush that had started at his neck crept up to his cheeks. 

“Oh. I...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, uh, and you don’t even owe me anything anyway. I’m just gonna go,” he murmured. 

Anna summoned up every ounce of courage and crossed the distance between them, grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him square on the mouth. Bucky let out what could only be described as a squeak of surprise. She pulled away before he had a chance to respond, realizing that had been rather abrupt.

“Sorry. That was, uh, I should have asked first. But I thought since we both suck at talking about our feelings I’d just-

Bucky cut her off, crowding her against the examination table, as his hand slid to the back on her neck so he could pull her in, kissing her soundly. She melted against him, bringing her arms up to wrap around him, tugging lightly at the hair at the base of his neck. He broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers as they panted for breath. 

“I, um, that was nice,” she said, a little dazed. 

Bucky huffed a laugh. 

“Nice huh? I think I can do better than nice.”

He leaned in again but Anna stopped him, pressing her hand to his chest. 

“Wait.”

Bucky let go of her like he’d been burned and immediately tried to put space between them, but Anna caught his hand, making him pause. 

“I’m sorry, I just, I have to ask. Is this a one time thing? B-because if this is something casual I can’t. I can’t be that for you,” she said, biting her lip nervously.  
What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he was just looking for something to make him feel good. What if-

Her thoughts were interrupted when Bucky cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. They were wide and sincere as he granted her a small, almost shy, smile. 

“It could never be a one time thing. Not with you,” he said seriously. 

Anna smiled and this time when he leaned in to kiss her she didn’t stop him. 

There were no fireworks or birds singing or a hallelujah chorus. It was just Bucky, kissing her for all he was worth and God it was perfect. She sighed into the kiss, moving her mouth against his languidly as his hands gripped her hips so tight she knew she would have bruises. But she didn’t care. She pulled away when she needed to breathe, but didn’t move very far, still sharing the same air. 

“Do you...do you want…” she trailed off, feeling a little awkward and not quite sure how to finish that sentence. So, do you wanna bone didn’t exactly seem like the best choice of words but she was having trouble articulating when he was this close. 

“Anything you want,” he said, stroking her cheek. 

She swallowed hard. 

“You. I want you.”

Bucky grinned at her and then his hands were on her ass, lifting her like she weighed nothing. She wrapped her legs around his waist, giggling as he carried her down the hall and into his bedroom. 

Something about the fact he’d chosen his room and not hers made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. Bucky was a very private person. He didn’t let people in his room often. It might be silly but she felt special. 

As soon as the door was closed Bucky had per pressed against it. His metal arm was against the door while his other hand was all over her, squeezing her ass and then coming to rest on her hip while he kissed her like a dying man. 

No longer feeling hesitant, Anna broke the kiss and in one swift move tugged Bucky’s shirt off over his head and threw it to the side, taking in his torso. He had scars. Too many for her to count. She traced her fingers over the one on his side from where she has stitched him up the night they met. His muscles tensed and she looked up to make sure he was okay. 

Bucky was more than okay. Eyes blown wide with lust. Narrowed and hungry as he looked at her. His hands found the hem of her shirt and he arched a brow, asking silent permission, tugging it off smoothly and letting it drop to the floor. 

Anna resisted the urge to cover herself, feeling a little self conscious under his gaze, but then Bucky’s lips were on her neck and his hips were pinning her to the door. She could feel his arousal through his jeans and she moaned, knowing it was her that was causing it. He trailed kisses across her sternum and she almost lost her mind when he pressed a soft kiss between her breasts. 

He lifted her again, only for a moment before laying her out on the bed and crawling over her. She took note that his metal hand was up near her head while his other hand was sliding off her bra. It dawned on her that he’d been avoiding touching her with that hand, always keeping it just far enough away so there was no contact. Bucky flinched when she touched his metal arm, looking at her, eyes wide and a little scared. 

“I don’t mind,” she assured him. 

He didn’t look convinced. She pushed him back until he was sitting and settled herself in his lap, reaching up and pulling his hair from his usual ponytail and pressing a tender kiss to his lips, before placing her hand on his shoulder where his skin met metal. 

“Does it hurt?” she asked. 

“Sometimes,” he said quietly. 

She nodded and slowly, to give him time to stop her if he wanted, leaned close to his shoulder. She felt more than heard his breath hitch as she pressed kiss after gentle kiss to the scars, all the while rolling her hips slowly against his. Bucky’s hands were on his hips, pulling her closer and groaning at the barely there friction. 

Finally he couldn’t take it anymore, growling as he pushed her onto her back, pressing her even harder into the bed as he continued rolling his hips against her. She snuck a hand between them, cupping him through his jeans. His hips stuttered and then her hands were at his belt, tugging it through the loops and tossing it away haphazardly. She got him down to his boxers before his mind seemed to catch up.

“No fair,” he said, honest to god pouting. 

“Feel free to return the favor,” she grinned. 

Bucky didn’t need to be told twice as he practically ripped her pants and underwear off in one go. Before she had time to divest him of his boxers he was kissing down her torso, stopping to nip lightly at her hipbones. She wiggled underneath him, breath catching in her throat when he pressed hot opened mouth kisses to the inside of her thighs. 

“Oh God,” she moaned when he reached his destination, tongue licking long and deliberate strokes at her clit. Her hand found it’s way down to tangle in his hair, tugging slightly which earned her a deep groan. 

For a man who’d been in and out of cryo for over seventy years now, knew exactly what he was doing. His metal hand was at her breast, squeezing gently, while he worked a finger on his other hand in and out of her. 

She could feel heat pooling in her belly as she began to roll her hips against him, in time with each stroke of his wicked tongue. In the back of her brain she realized Bucky still had his boxers on. And she wanted to change that. She wanted him to feel as good as she was feeling. But she was unable to think coherently, let alone string together an actual sentence. The only sounds she was capable of making were rather embarrassing.

A moment later she cried out, her orgasm taking her by surprise as she shuddered, the hand she had in Bucky’s hair tightening. He was kissing his way back up body when she came back to herself. 

“Was it okay?” he asked, actually looking a little nervous. 

“It was more than okay,” she assured him, thumb brushing his cheek. 

“I haven’t, um, done that since before. I’m out of practice.”

“If that’s you out of practice then I can’t imagine what you were like before.”

She dragged him down for a kiss, tongue brushing against his bottom lip until her opened up to her. She pushed impatiently at his boxers, eager to get them off now she was in control of her brain again. His gasped against her mouth as she got her hand around him, giving a few experimental strokes. 

Anna broke the kiss to look down at him, curious to see what he looked like. And holy shit he didn’t disappoint. His dick was, for lack of a better word, beautiful. Just like the rest of him and she was surprised how much she wanted her mouth on him. Before she could move to do so Bucky was stilling her hand and squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Bucky? Are you okay? Did I do something?” she asked, worried. 

He shook his head, letting out a slow breath before opening his eyes, cheeks tinged pink. 

“It’s been...a long time since I’ve...I don’t want it to be over yet,” he said, embarrassed. 

That got Anna’s attention. 

“How long is a long time?” she asked. 

His blush darkened and he didn’t say anything. 

“Have you, since you’ve been here?”

He shook his head. She touched his cheek. 

“Hey, come on. Talk to me.”

He sighed, eyes reluctantly meeting hers. 

“I don’t want you to be disappointed. If I’m not-if it’s not any good,” he admitted quietly. 

Anna stared up at him. Seeing him so vulnerable made her heart ache. Her stomach twisted with nerves as the words she’d been wanting to say for weeks were right on the tip of the tongue. 

“It’s you,” she started softly, “It’s you and it’s me and that’s all I want. You’re all I want. I...I love you, Bucky.”

His eyes widened and for a moment she thought she had spooked him. That he was going to leap up from the bed and hightail it out of there, completely naked. But then he was kissing her and his hands were on her face. 

“Me too. Oh God, me too. I love you,” he murmured between kisses. 

Anna couldn’t help it. The tears that had been prickling spilled over. Bucky pulled back abruptly. 

“What’s wrong? I thought-

“Happy tears. They’re happy tears,” she assured him. 

Bucky kissed her until the tears stopped and when she felt him hard against her hip she remembered they kind of stopped in the middle and was far from done. She rocked her hips up against his, smiling at the groan it pulled from him. 

“Do you have-

 

Anna cut off when she realized Bucky was already opening the drawer of his bedside table and pulling out a condom. He rolled it on quickly, laying back over her. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

Anna’s answer was to take him in hand, guiding him to her. 

“I’m sure,” she said quietly, breath catching as he pushed in. 

Bucky hand on her thigh clenched as he stilled, taking a moment to calm himself down and let her adjust. He waited until she tentatively rolled her hips, taking that as his go ahead to move. 

Anna gasped, hands scrabbling for purchase on Bucky’s sweat slick back pulling him close as he began to thrust, slowly but in earnest. 

She waited for him to pick up the pace. Waited for him to snap his hips faster and drive them both toward completion. But he kept the same speed, thrusts deep and even. It was maddening. 

“B-Bucky c’mon. I won’t break,” she urged, digging her fingers into his ass and trying to drag him closer. That seemed to spur him on as he began to snap his hips faster.

Bucky was surprisingly vocal. He had his face pressed into her neck and was letting out these breathy little whimpers that were driving her crazy. 

“F-feels good,” he moaned, nipping at her neck. 

“Yeah, s-so, a-ah, good!” she managed. 

Bucky's left hand found her right, lacing their fingers together. The cool of the metal was almost soothing with the heat they’d built up between them. His right hand found it’s way between her legs, thumbing at her clit and making her cry out as she bit into his shoulder. 

“You’re so good sweetheart,” he panted, lips pressed to her ear

Anna keened at the endearment, her hips lifting off the bed as much as she was able to meet each of his thrusts. Her fingers were digging into Bucky’s back so hard now she was sure it would leave marks. 

She felt the heat pooling in her stomach again as Bucky’s mouth found hers in a kiss that was open mouthed and wet. He nibbled her bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut. From the way his thrusts were becoming more erratic and less controlled she could tell he was close, the thought pushing her right to the brink. 

“Y-you’re gonna cum aren’t you,” she whispered, low and filthy in his ear. 

Bucky let out a whine, nodding. 

“I want you to. Please Bucky. I want you to cum with me,” she pleaded, arching up against him. 

That was all it took. Bucky’s hips stuttered once, twice and then he was coming hard with a loud choked off moan. His hand tightened in hers as he rode out the aftershocks, trembling against her. The look of pure bliss on his face, mouth open and eyes closed was enough to send her over the edge. Anna cried out, head thrown back against the pillows, still shaking when Bucky collapsed on top of her. 

They lay there together, breathing hard. 

“That was-that was…” she trails off. 

“It was,” Bucky grunts, using the last of his strength to pull out of her and toss the condom into the wastebasket. 

He resettled himself against her, arm draped across her and his head on her chest. Anna ran her fingers through his hair idly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Bucky let out a muffled sound of contentment, trailing lazy kisses across her chest everywhere he could reach without moving. 

“Tired?” she asks. 

Bucky managed a nod and then his eyes were sliding shut. Anna smiled down at him, settling into the pillows and dragging the blanket over both of them for a much needed nap. She drifts off easily, truly happy for the first time in she can’t remember how long.


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter guys! Thanks for sticking with me!

Anna woke a little disoriented and under a crushing warmth. It took her a moment to realize the warmth was actually six feet of naked sleeping ex assassin super soldier, snoring softly. She smiled as the events of the previous evening came back to her and she stroked Bucky’s hair slowly, stifling a giggle when he made a gurgling noise and nuzzled closer, the arm he had around her tightening. 

Of course her joy only lasted a moment before she started chewing her nip nervously. What if this hadn’t meant to Bucky what it did to her? What if it did? Was this gonna change anything? Did he want it to change things between them? What if-

“Stop thinkin so loud,” Bucky grumbled sleepily.

“Sorry,” she whispered, removing her fingers from where they were tangled in his hair. 

Bucky groped blindly for her hand, placing it back on his head. 

“Don’t stop. Feels nice.”

Anna obliged, continuing her ministrations and kissing his forehead and let her other hand trace easy patterns along his back. That seemed to wake Bucky up a little more as he dragged himself up to lean over her, kissing her. It was open mouthed and lazy and she shuddered when she felt him hard against her hip. 

Bucky seemed content to just roll his hips against hers, but Anna’s thoughts drifted back to last night when he had gone down on her. Taking advantage of his brain not being fully awake, she gripped his shoulders and flipped him onto his back, laughing at the look of surprise on his face. 

She was kissing her way down his body before he could say anything, reveling in the way his breath hitched when she wrapped her fingers around him and gave his cock a few teasing strokes. 

“Y-You don’t have to,” he told her, though from the way his fingers were threaded in her hair she could tell he wanted her to. 

“Wanted to last night, but I got a little sidetracked,” she said honestly. 

Bucky nodded slowly and, feeling encouraged, she licked a long stripe from base to tip before sucking the head into her mouth. 

His reaction was immediate. The hand in her hair tightening. Not forcing her to go any further, just holding on. Grounding himself. He moaned as she began to bob her head up and down, taking him as deep as she could. 

“T-this is going to be embarrassing,” Bucky gasped. 

Anna just hummed, sliding off to to swirl her tongue around the head before going back down, sucking hard and ignoring the ache already beginning in her jaw. 

Bucky was a mess, writhing against the sheets and practically begging her not to stop with breathy pleas and curses. 

“Anna! I-I’m gonna-” he warned, tapping her shoulder. 

Anna gripped the base of his dick, stroking what she couldn’t fit in her mouth and second later he was coming, hips arching off the bed just slightly as he let out a choked off cry. It had been a while since Anna had done this. She swallowed what she could wiping off the bit that had dribbled down her chin with her thumb. 

Bucky was panting against the pillows, looking utterly debauched and Anna couldn’t help feeling a little proud. 

“Come here,” he demanded, all but dragging her up to meet him for a kiss. She pressed her fingers to his lips. 

“Are you sure you wanna? I mean, I just-

He growled, pressing his lips to hers in a searing kiss, wasting no time in letting his tongue ravish her mouth and groaning at the taste of himself lingering on her lips. Bucky flipped their positions, his fingers finding their way between her legs and-

“BUCKY!” Steve shouted from the other side of the door, banging on it loudly. “BUCKY YOU GOTTA SUIT UP! ANNA’S MISSING! NO ONE’S SEEN HER SINCE LAST NIGHT!”

The two shared a look of surprise before grinning. A small giggle escaped Anna that had Bucky pressing his fingers to his lips to shush her. 

“I’M, UH, SURE SHE’S FINE STEVIE!” Bucky called back. 

“COME ON CYBORG! UP AND AT ‘EM! DON’T WANT PEANUT TO GET HURT!” Tony added. 

“It might interest you all to know that Miss Beckett is currently naked in bed with Mr. Barnes,” Jarvis said in his eerily calm AI voice. 

“JARVIS!” Bucky yelled. 

“Sorry sir, but I wasn’t going to let them go on a search when I know very well where she is!”

“Um...sorry,” Steve called, awkwardly. “We’ll just...go.”

“About time!” Sam added. 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do Peanut!”

Anna groaned, blushing bright red and hiding her face in Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Guess that saves us from having to tell them,” Bucky grumbled. 

“Yeah. Yeah I guess so.”

Bucky looked down at her, offering a small smile, which morphed into a smirk as he quirked the fingers still between her legs. She gasped, hips rocking against him and suddenly she didn’t care what the other Avengers were thinking because she had this. She had Bucky. What the hell else even mattered?


End file.
